Narrative is the story you create about yourself. Narrative is how you think about yourself and talk about yourself. It’s the story you share with the world, through social media from Facebook posts, Instagram photos, and tweets.

Celebrating your narrative is easy when you’re feeling great, surrounded by supportive and understanding friends and family, and fulfilled on a career journey. But the story isn’t so easy to tell or sell when you’re anxious about your future, mourning the person you once were, feeling worthless and even invisible.

This negative self-talk causes anxiety and depression. What you tell yourself will impact your emotions and behaviours as your narrative spirals downward. If you continue this trajectory through disempowerment, vulnerability, and inactivity you’ll soon be deep in depression and your mental health will certainly deteriorate.

Sticking to a more empowered, positive story will help you better manage your condition. Celebrating what is good will bolster your mentality and help you better manage your condition. Your story can still have a happy ending. There are ways you can help yourself flip your script.

5 Ways to Externalize Your Illness

Externalization is an exercise which can be used to help you move away from the disempowered narrative that can be formulated during chronic illness. The technique can also help you pivot to an empowered mindset.

By allowing you to examine the connection between your thoughts and state of mind, this exercise allows you to view yourself from an objective perspective. Consequently, it moves the spotlight away from you as a person, helping you to see things less defensively and with greater clarity.

It is traditionally used as a part of narrative therapy and coaching sessions however you can realize the benefits of this technique through the following 5 steps:

1. Focus on the feeling you are experiencing

This could be anything including self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, depression, stress anger or sadness. Whichever feeling it is, sit and pay attention to how you are experiencing it. What comes up for you? Where are you feeling it physically?    

2. Personify the feeling.

Now imagine this feeling as an actual person who is independent of you. Let’s use self-doubt as an example. What would this feeling look like if it were a person? How do they dress and act?  Is there a name you could give to this feeling?  Do you picture somebody you know or perhaps a version of yourself?

3. Create a dialogue.

Now let’s focus on this person you have created out of the feeling. What kind of things are they saying to you? For example, if self-doubt was an actual person, they might be telling you that you are not able to cope with having a chronic illness or that you are not as important as you used to be. Whatever it is that you can picture them telling you, I want you to ask yourself how you would respond to an actual person in your life if they were saying those same things? What would you tell them and how would the conversation go?

4. Create a counter persona

Now think of a time when felt something opposite to that negative feeling. For example, maybe you felt self-assured. Now let’s imagine Self-Assured as an actual person. Who do they look like and would they respond to Self-Doubt if they were to ever meet?  What evidence would Self-Assured use against Self-Doubt in this dialogue? Perhaps they can identify strengths which you still possess or new ones you have recently developed?

5. Action plan

Regardless of the feelings you have or the characters, you create out of them, try focusing on the aspects of the more empowered persona and how you can bring them to life. They are essentially a version of you which already exists. Is there a way you can think like them or behave like them, even if it’s initially for a short spell a day?  For example, channel your positive persona to set some goals or do one proactive thing daily. Get into the feel of being them and over time slowly start to let that become the more dominant part of your personality.

We invite you to share your feedback with us. Have you tried any of these before? Have you tried anything different? What has worked for you? What has not worked?

Is there anything else you would like for us to cover?

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Our website is www.illnesscoaching.com

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As always, if you are experiencing any severe medical or psychological symptoms, we always recommend you speak directly to a qualified professional.

Thank you for checking in with us and we’ll see you again soon.