Coaching Illness and Sense of Self:

6 Ways You Are More Than Just Your Illness

‘How are you?’ is probably a question you have been asked more than once, especially since your chronic illness began.  Your standard response is probably to describe how tired you feel or your level of physical discomfort. These are fair responses, considering your current physical status. However, what would your response be if you were to be asked the question ‘who are you?’

All too often it is easy to let your chronic condition define who you are. After all, your life is taken up being focused on it. Your energy and strength levels are compromised because of it. You plan your whole routine around it, and you make appointments with doctors to formulate your next plan of attack against it.

The problems arise when the illness is the only thing that is left about you. Forgetting all that you used to be because you are just too physically compromised to be those things anymore, can do a huge number on your mental health. It can feed into an illness narrative which has the potential to feel very disempowering. This may also do damage to your physical wellness and energy levels. 

Remembering that you are more than just your illness is the key to remaining optimistic and being an active participant in your own life. Let’s look at six ways of reminding yourself of this:

1.   You Are Still Your Interests

You may not be as active as you once were, but you may still be able to indulge in your interests, albeit in a less physical way. Maybe you’ve been an artist, a fitness fanatic, or a dog lover. Think about any interests you have abandoned along the way and ask yourself if there are ways you can still revisit them. Perhaps you can read articles about your interests, watch videos, talk about them, or participate in a modified way.

2.   You Are Still Your Relationships

Having a chronic illness does not change the fact that there are people who remain connected. You may still be a mother or father, a son or daughter, a spouse or partner, or a friend. Admittedly some people may have abandoned you in your time of need, but not the ones who matter.

3.   You Are Still Your Goals

It is important not to lose sight of them. Perhaps it was to go back to school, get into shape for the summer, find a new career or learn a musical instrument. Do what you need to do. Delay them, modify them, or realign them. They are what get you out of bed in the morning, and keep you motivated and feel optimistic.

4.   You Are Still Your Strengths

Strength is not always about muscle. Even as you have become weaker physically, you can be gaining strength mentally. Your chronic illness is possibly the biggest challenge you have ever faced. Whichever strengths you possessed before, be it strategy, resilience, or determination, now is the time to implement them.

5.    You Are Still Your Values

Whether it be authenticity, challenge, connection or compassion, your values are still available to guide you now. You will probably need to revisit these values more than ever. You don’t need to be physically active to live by them. You must remember that they haven’t gone away.

6.   You Are Still Every Victory You Had Before This

This may include that exam which you passed, that promotion you worked hard for, that person who agreed to share their life with you or those kids who you successfully raised. Whichever qualities you possessed that allowed you to achieve those wins, you still own them.