5 Ways of Handling Toxic Individuals

Healthy or not, toxic people have no place in your life. Living with a chronic condition is tough, and it’s hard to stay positive while your physical and emotional resources are being drained. If your mental health is depleted, it leaves you open to stress, anxiety, and depression, all of which have been proven to cause fatigue and negatively affect physical health. In other words, toxic people are bad for your well-being.

Remaining positive is imperative and the best way to do this is to surround yourself with those who only have your best interests at heart. That’s why it’s important to cut out the toxicity. Your life is about you now. Your health and wellness are your top priority. This is no time for others who bring you down.

The following are examples of toxic personality types:

People Who Treat You Like You Are Invisible

These are the ones who ignore you. They don’t hear you when you speak or talk over you when you are trying to say something. They usually exclude you from the conversation when you find yourself in a group situation.

Disrespectful People

These are the people who speak rudely to you. They use insults. They belittle your opinion. They overpower you in conversation, are argumentative and disagree with anything you say.

Judgemental People

This is the personality type that has an opinion about everything. Their assumptions are based upon very little research or evidence. They are critical of others. Judgemental people often write you off as lazy when you are feeling fatigued.

Negative People

These people complain about everything. They are negative about themselves, what goes on in their own lives and the lives of other people. For them, the glass is always half empty. They highlight the problems but very rarely search for a solution.

Takers

This personality type is needy. They need you to pay them attention. Sometimes they may ask to borrow money or have you do favours for them. The problem is that the favours are all one way. They take and never give. They want you to be there for them. However, they rarely are there for you.

Self-Obsessed People

This refers to the personality type which makes everything about themselves. They talk incessantly about themselves. They rarely think beyond themselves and their feelings. Everything is seen in terms of how it affects them. They are in love with the sound of their voice, brag a lot and show little interest in the experiences of others.

How many of these personality types do you recognize? Some people you know may display more than one of these behaviours. Perhaps you believe that they also have positive traits and can justify having them in your life. However, keep in mind that your health comes first, and you have little energy for toxic behaviours.  Here are some suggestions to consider:

1)   Identify How These People Make You Feel

Think about if they do anything to enhance you or get in your way. Do you come away from spending time with them feeling good about yourself or do they hurt your confidence? Do they lift you or drain you of energy? How much support can you rely on them to provide in your time of need?

2)   Address the Issue with Them

Are they the type of person you can speak openly with and draw their attention to the things they do that make you feel unhappy? If you answered no, then that should be a red flag.  If the answer is yes, speak honestly and respectfully to them. Make clear what your boundaries are and that they should not be crossed again.

3)   Make Yourself Unavailable

Chronic illness means that you have a limited amount of energy. Your time will be more precious than ever now and should only be reserved for your top priorities. Investing your time in people who do not make you happy is not one of those priorities. If they try to make contact, let them know that you are taking care of them. Alternatively, you can phase them out slowly by responding to them after a delayed period.

4)   Find Alternative Sources of Support

It’s easier to move away from something when you have something else to move on to. The same is true with people. Finding more reliable forms of support will empower you to leave toxic people behind. Illness support groups are one option to consider, as their members are more likely to show empathy, having been through similar experiences to you.

5)   Unfollow Them On Social Media

There may be people you have distanced yourself from physically, who remain connected to you through social media. Unfortunately, some of those toxic personality traits can still be displayed in their posts and comments. Having that to see on your newsfeed each day can bring you down just as much as dealing with it in person. Again, if it hurts your emotions, it can also be damaging to your physical health. Unfollowing that individual is a pragmatic choice.