For many of us who have battled chronic illness, confidence loss hits at some point. This may be because of weakness, fatigue, a change in physical appearance, career loss or being less socially interactive with others. There is often a direct correlation between our levels of diminished capacity and our decrease in self-worth.

The loss of confidence can impact our psychological wellbeing as we tend to withdraw from the outside world and feel a loss of control, as well as anxiety and depression. The emotional wear and tear can also be of further detriment to our physical health.

During my chronic illness battle, I suffered from severe lapses in confidence. Having once enjoyed a successful sales career and being in peak physical shape I was suddenly reduced to a life of sitting on a couch, breathing with the aid of an oxygen tank while physically withering away. I felt worthless for a long time. Fortunately, I found ways to regain some confidence. Implementing some of the following approaches helped me. I believe that they can help you too:

9 Approaches to Consider

As important as it is to make peace with less confident feelings to lower stress and anxiety, the following strategies can be highly effective in achieving small wins which lead us to recapture a confident mindset.

1. Avoid All or Nothing Thinking

Illness can be an emotional period that can lead one to catastrophising events. However, thinking in absolutes will often lead to feelings of despair. Try to establish if there is some middle ground. For example, think about if you have lost everything or if it is possible that you still possess some strengths and positive qualities.

2. Identify What You Still Control

Maybe you are more physically restricted and not as able to control as many aspects of your life as you once were. However, think about what you still can control. What action steps are you still able to take to help yourself?

3. High Goals and Low Goals

Loss of confidence may coincide with failing to meet your expectations. As your capabilities fluctuate during illness try to set high goals and low goals for yourself. Maybe some days your physical state will allow you to achieve those high goals but achieving the low goals on off days can still feel like an achievement.

4. Imagine Talking with a Friend.

Think about a close friend or someone else you care about going through what you are experiencing. Imagine what you might tell them. How would you try to boost their confidence? Can you say the same to yourself now?

5. Act of Kindness

Whether it be once a day or once a week, perform one random act of kindness for another person. This can even be carried out online if you are housebound. Doing so will take you outside of yourself and provide you with a sense of accomplishment.

6. Immerse Yourself in a Pastime.

In the world of mental health, this is referred to as achieving “Flow”. Think about something you could enjoy and derive a sense of achievement from. Building, writing, or learning something will help you psychologically, even if your energy only allows you to do so for brief periods.

7. Identify Newly Acquired Strengths

Take time to consider if your illness made you a stronger or better person in any way. As crazy as it sounds maybe you are more resilient, calmer, or better at prioritizing. Which other strengths might you have acquired along the way?

8. Daily Wins

Make a list of a few things that you have accomplished each day. This may include walking around the block, making breakfast for yourself or formulating a daily timetable. No matter how small, it will help to remind you of your value.

9. Future Self

Write down any goals you may have for your future self. What will you be doing? Who can you be still? This can help to remind you that some of the issues which have damaged your confidence are only temporary and that a better future may lay ahead.

9 Life Areas to Examine

The following ten areas represent ways in which your confidence may grow despite or even because of chronic illness.

1. Lessons Learned

Try to look at your illness as a learning experience. Think about any lessons you can take away from it. What have you learned about yourself through all of this? Examples may include newly acquired strengths and coping abilities.

2. Value Shifts

Ask yourself if illness has affected your values at all? How have they shifted? Examples might include authenticity, life balance, family, connection or helping others. How might you want to live by them and how could they affect who you can become?

3. Meaning

Take some time to consider what your illness may mean to you. Is there a sense of purpose you can derive and how would you ideally like to look back on the experience?

4. Opportunity

Think about if there is any way for the illness experience to help you get stronger or become a better person. Maybe you can use it to define yourself as a survivor or hero. If so, is there an opportunity for personal growth out of it?

5. Purpose

Consider ways in which you can use the illness experience now. Can any strengths you may have acquired be reapplied to other aspects of your life or be used to help others?

6. Social Expectations vs Authentic Self

Examine how the expectations of your surrounding culture affect who you have the potential to become. Do you feel like you can be true to your values or are you governed by the values of those around you?

7. Context

Confidence is mostly contextual. You can meet someone who seems to thrive in one situation and witness them flounder in another. Think about the contexts and situations you are more likely to thrive. There will be certain social situations, cultures and environments which allow you to live your best life and others which leave you feeling stifled.

8. Family and Friends

Consider to what extent those closest to you build you up or enhance your confidence. Do they say and do things that bring you down and hurt your confidence or are they likely to support you?

9. Next Steps

Think about what your next steps might be to improve your confidence. Perhaps illness prevents you from making any drastic changes for the time being, but you be able to plan, recuperate and store up your energy for something better to come. Some of the areas mentioned above may be factors in helping you to accomplish this. If so, how would this help your mental and physical state?

6 Self-Management Behaviours

Managing the following areas in your life can help you grow confidence even while dealing with a major illness:

1. Exercise

 Physical activity will not only help your physical well-being, but it can also provide you with a confidence boost. Select an activity that you enjoy and perform it at a manageable intensity and for a duration, you can cope with.

2.  Appearance

Remaining indoors while recovering from illness can deter many of us from putting energy into our appearance. In most cases that energy is hard to come by. As much as sweats or pyjamas help us feel comfortable, it has been shown that our appearance does impact our confidence and motivation. Consider the clothes and hairstyle which are more likely to provide you with a psychological boost, but still allow you to feel comfortable.

3. Surround Yourself with Supportive People.

This comes back to what we wrote about earlier. Naysayers and toxic people will drain your confidence and will only have a further negative impact on your physical health. Do your best to phase out the negative people and surround yourself with those who are always rooting for you. They may already be present but if not, many others are experiencing similar things to you who can be potential support buddies and confidence boosters.

4. Learn Something New

This may seem challenging to many people battling chronic illness. However, even simple activities can help you to grow mentally and intellectually. Over time, activities such as reading and watching videos daily can lead you to acquire expertise within a chosen field. It can also boost your confidence because even though you may be diminished physically your mind is still growing.

5. Set Goals

Keep them specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-sensitive. It doesn’t matter if they are small. A succession of small wins will enhance momentum, boost enthusiasm, and build confidence.

6. Acquire a New Skill

Think about any skills you are still physically capable of acquiring and putting into practice. Examples may include learning a new language, coding, or music.

During the first twelve months after my release from hospital, I spent some time learning judo. Initially, I would watch judo videos for five minutes each day. Once I was strong enough, I went to classes. I spent most of the lesson sitting on the floor only taking part in the parts of class I felt comfortable with. I would spend the other days practising the movements I had learned at home for very short bursts. Within one year I achieved a yellow belt. It may not sound like much, but it was a huge achievement for someone who was undergoing chemotherapy at the time. I felt proud and it boosted my confidence.

We invite you to share your feedback with us. Have you tried any of these before? Have you tried anything different? What has worked for you? What has not worked?

Is there anything else you would like for us to cover?

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As always, if you are experiencing any severe medical or psychological symptoms, we always recommend you speak directly to a qualified professional.

Thank you for checking in with us and we’ll see you again soon.